Kilimanjaro: Glorified Hill

I am currently in Arusha, the most over-touristed city in Tanzania. As you may know, I came to Tanzania to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, what I expected to be an over-glorified snow-capped hill in Africa. iTo my surprise and to my lungs dismay, it's actually a real mountain standing almost 20,000 ft. Tall. when you are six kilometers above the ocean, the air is both cold and oxygen-poor. Because we are fearless American travelers, my sister and I were not deterred by mere facts. We pressed up the mountain in only four days. Becuase we are from the mountains of New Mexico, we have exception anatomies which enable us to breathe the airs of the stratosphere. And because we have been hardened by the fierce winters of Chicago, we did not
complain about he bitter cold, even when we could not move our hands. We met Swedish Mountaineers who suffered frostbite days after the climb, but the only thing we found objectionable about our circumstances was the bitterly cold water we brought up the mountain.

On the third day of our climb, we reached Kibo Hut, the final base camp before summiting. We were advised to go to sleep at six PM, which despite our greatest efforts, was impossible. We woke up at Ten PM in the Arctic tundra, drank a cup of tea and started to climb. At three
we were at 18000 feet, where I first thought about vomiting. At four we were at 18500 feet, where I realized that I was going to vomit. By Six AM we had climbed five thousand feet to see the Sun Rise over the curvature of the earth, visible from Uhuru Peak. And it was not until I was coming down from the mountain, at 8:00, with Acute Mountain Sickness, which I would compare to the worst hangover you can imagine, that I actually vomited. And then I felt much better. So I have been to and vomited at 6000 Meters.

Really, in all seriousness, from the top of the mountain I could see that the earth is most certainly round. I could see down the Great Rift Valley to the Serengetti. While I am told they are receding, the glaciers on the top were bigger than I know how to describe. If one was not careful, you could fall hundreds of meters in the crevasses of the Ice. The Volcanic crater was enormous, as I guess I should have expected of the tallest standing volcano on Earth.

WAS IT HARD?
Now, you might wonder why, I, and individual of indestructible constitution, fell ill while others did not: It was in the name of Science. I was doing an EXPERIMENT. While everyone else who attempts to climb Kilimanjaro takes altitude medicine (Diamox), I joined the control group. So I can now confirm, though with a large confidence interval, Diamox works. If you don't take it, you will vomit after prolonged exposure to altitudes above 19,500 feet.

Coming down was a whole other story. I still had the worlds worst hangover (unique to the Diamox control group), and now I had to walk 15 miles with a big ass bag on my back down an enormous, icy hill.

I made it back, and I have restored feeling in all parts of my body. It was an incredible climb, and now I'm going to zanzibar, where I will sit on the beach of hte Indian Ocean for a few days. I think, after that, if I can afford it, I'm going to Rwanda.

Oh, and I had wacky dreams on top of the mountain. Here are some shoutouts:

John Saxton: in the dream that was by far the most debased from reality, I dreamed that I was at your WEDDING! Not only was I there, Jordan and I were trying to break up the wedding. They say that dreams on Mt. Kilimanjaro show you the truth, so if you know what's good for you, you will not marry that Asian girl you thought was cute at Jimmy's when we were playing Erotic Photo Hunt with Eric.

Bonnie Doyle: I haven't seen you in YEARS, but I had a dream that you and I were arguing with each other on television in Atlanta, and then somehow ended up in New Hampshire where your sister was baking chocolate cake. I don't think I've ever met your sister, but I did REALLY want chocolate cake. The dream reminded me that you promised to reveal your spies after I graduate..